Dr Titania's Carnival of Desire
by Larxenne
Summary: A slightly surrealistic cross between "A Midsummer Night's Dream" and "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari", a 1919 German film, set in the 1960's. Expect lovers, somnambulists, and pop culture references.


Dr. Titania's Carnival of Desire

_In stirring together bits of plot from _A Midsummer Night's Dream _and_ The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari_, we find ourselves faced with the story of Alice and James (naïve youngsters), Craig (a shunned ex-lover), Rachael (a somnambulist), the Tambourine Man (a guy with a tambourine), and Dr. Titania Caligari (a journalist on strike), occurring at the county fair…_

They walked through the twisted, haphazard sprawling mass of fairdom, between the livestock and the pies and the giant vegetables to the grand stage where some rich kid was currently rapping. It was hard to believe that all this action, all this life could take place in the grounds around the civic center. What was usually just a lawn, a pond, and a parking lot was now hundreds of stalls, people, and animals. It was noise, chaos, families, the open expanse of twilight sky seen from the apex of the Ferris wheel. It was the dank smell of haphazardly built stalls and the sense of fear in the rusty tilt-a-whirls and the insipid burning of cotton candy that looks like insulation but tastes oh so sweet. For Alice and James, it was togetherness, walking hand in hand toward the glowing lights of the carnival as darkness fell. This was a real carnival: completely rigged games and a mallet smasher and some rope ladders, but there were also tents with fortune tellers and freak shows and music and dancing. There were rides where little kids stood in line, their parents hoping to shield them from the underlying seediness that the kids didn't pick up on. Alice begged James to play a game and win her something, but he didn't. They kept walking, until James heard the sound of a tambourine. "Do you hear that, Alice?"

"What, baby?"

"It's coming from that tent." James pulled Alice through the crowd and toward a man waving a tambourine.

"Come and see Rachael the Somnambulist wake up! She's been asleep for the past three days, and she can tell _your_ fortune for only five dollars!" Alice giggled. The tambourine man waved his tambourine, beckoning others over. James handed the man ten dollars and they went into the dark tent. Inside, it was packed. People sat on hay bales and looked toward a makeshift stage with no curtain. A beautiful girl with long chestnut hair dressed in a sparkly red leotard and go-go boots lay sound asleep on a velvet divan on the middle of the stage. Alice and James took their seats, not noticing another boy seated behind them, having slipped into the tent after seeing Alice and James disappear into the mysterious sideshow. After a few minutes, the tent flap was pulled down and the tambourine man came inside. From the back, he called out, "Ladies and Gentlemen, you are about to witness the strangest spectacle ever to be presented at your county fair! Ever since the 11th century, people have passed on a tale of a wandering monk happening upon a somnambulist, who, when awakens, has the most curious powers. They said it could tell the future, but also whispered about its other powers…some about its sinister intents, and others about its power over lovers. And now the beautiful and talented Dr. Titania Caligari has come upon such a somnambulist…I must welcome her now!" Dr. Caligari entered through another flap in the tent. She didn't look very much like someone on the carnival circuit—she wore glasses, jeans, and a trench coat.

"Welcome, welcome, everyone," said Dr. Caligari in a slightly melodic voice perfectly suited to performing. She crossed the stage, over to where the woman was sleeping. "When I met Rachael, I quit my job." She caressed the sleeping woman's face with her right hand. "I took to the carnivals. I liberated this woman from that horrible asylum where they gave her drugs to stay awake and took her powers away from her, not only for her sake, but for yours. So that you could know your futures, so that you could use her powers for what they should be, so that you could accept her, not shun her. When I call her to wake up, she will answer any question you pose to her. And she never lies." She picked up a gong from a side table and hit it three times with a mallet. The noise from the gong sent vibrations up the spine of everyone in the tent, and made the woman on the divan twitch a few times before she was pulled from her deep, deep sleep. She stretched elegantly and pulled herself up.

"Good morning, mistress," she said lazily in a slightly southern accent. Alice thought Rachael, with her rosy cheeks, fake eyelashes and scandalous dress, looked like a prostitute, a woman with little respect for herself. Alice fancied herself a feminist, but only really as long as it was fashionable.

"Does anyone want their fortunes told?" asked Dr. Caligari, replacing the gong and mallet onto the side table. I think she's got about three in her. "Is that right, sweetheart?"

"Mistress, sorry to disappoint all these people," Rachael smiled at the audience and gestured at them with long, red fingernails, "but I think I only have one." Alice poked James and told him that this was such a waste of money. James murmured something back along the lines of, "Sorry, baby." Behind them, someone stood up.

"Excuse me, madam somnambulist?" asked the boy behind them.

"Yes?" answered Rachael.

"Hi, um, I'm Craig. I would like my fortune told." Alice and James spun around.

"Craig!" Alice cried dramatically. "You stalker!"

"Alice! I…um, well, I'm sorry. You dumped me without saying why, and I still like you. Now I see you have a new boyfriend, but I think I deserved more than just a dismissive note pinned to my locker."

"You are so dense. I hook up with you one evening while I was drunk and you think I want to be your girlfriend! I'm a modern, sexually liberated woman, Craig! I'm almost seventeen! Don't think I'm a child!"

"Would you still like your fortune told?" asked Rachael calmly.

"Hey!" yelled Dr. Caligari. The whole room had been watching the screamfest. "If there's a problem, please solve it _after_ Rachael gives the fortune. She needs sleep, and arguments aren't good for her. They excite her mind and depress her divination powers." Dr. Caligari stroked Rachael's hair.

"I'll tell Craig's fortune, mistress."

"Very well. Ask Rachael a question, Craig."

"Somnambulist, I would like to know: Will anyone ever fall in love with me?"

Rachael's eyes narrowed and she brought one of those red talons up to her lips, smiling slightly. "Someone will, Craig. Someone will." And she lay down on her divan, gracefully curving her arms around a pillow. Within seconds, she was asleep. Titania Caligari stood in the middle of the stage and smiled. Everyone began to clap. Alice fumed. She and James stood up and walked out. Craig was glowing with anticipation. Someone would love him. _Alice_ would love him. Dr. Caligari took a bow and left the tent. Everyone stood up and left, except for the tambourine man. He walked over to the stage and banged the gong a few times closely to Rachael's ears. She blinked a few times and woke up.

"Mistress, is it time for another fortune? I have, maybe, three or four this time." The tambourine man grunted. Rachael spun her head toward the noise, her hair gracefully landing on her shoulders. "Oh…um, could I tell your fortune then?"

"No, I don't think that will be necessary. Rachael, do you want to leave Dr. Caligari's service? Do you want to be awake like normal people?"

"Well…I…I never thought of it. Leave the mistress? Go back to the asylum that she tells me was horrible? I can't even remember it…"

"A somnambulist has many powers, Rachael. You don't have to work for Titania anymore. You can liberate yourself—cure yourself of this illness." Rachael stared at him with wide blue eyes trimmed perfectly with eyeliner and mascara. She nodded slightly. "You have the power to make people fall in love. Walk up to them while they are asleep and touch their eyes—they will love the first person they see when they wake up. There is a boy: you told his fortune, remember? Did you like him?"

"I…I can't recall," said Rachael, confused.

"He had light brown hair, was wearing a sweater. Following this gorgeous blonde chick with flowers in her hair. I want him to fall in love with you and you with him. Could you do that?"

"How?" asked Rachael, totally compliant.

"Alice and James's van is parked underneath the giant oak tree. Craig will follow them there and fall asleep under the tree as he waits for the Alice. Touch his eyes and wake him up. Fall in love with him and you're cured." The Tambourine Man smiled enigmatically and drummed his fingers on his instrument. Rachael yawned.

"May I sleep until nightfall?"

"Yes, darling, sleep." Rachael curled up on the divan. The Tambourine Man continued to play.

Dr. Caligari was out schmoozing with other carneys when darkness fell. Again, the Tambourine Man woke Rachael up. He covered her in an old fashioned brown dress that fell to her knees and gave her some brown leather boots, which he buttoned for her. She walked out of the tent, out of the carnival and into the parking lot, where she found the big oak tree and the van. She saw the blonde girl and another boy sleeping on the ground slumped up against the oak tree. _So this is the boy_, she thought. She touched his eyes and woke him up. He blinked a few times. "Good morning, beautiful," he murmured.

"Hi," said Rachael shyly. James pulled Rachael toward him and tried to kiss her, whereupon she shrieked. The scream woke Alice up. She spun around and saw her boyfriend, his arms around the somnambulist.

"James! You womanizer! I can't believe you! I love you! You must be joking!"

James pulled Rachael closer. Her glass eyes clouded with confusion and exhaustion.

"I love Rachael, not you! I never loved you! She is my one and only love."

"You met her today, you dunce! You didn't talk to her! You barely know her! Rachael, tell me: does he love you? Do you love him?"

Rachael began to talk very slowly. "I…is this Craig?"

"No, this is _James._ My _boyfriend._"

"I'm not your boyfriend!"

"Shut up!"

"I…I'm supposed to love Craig. Like I prophesized. I think…"

"Rachael, I love you!"

"No you don't you idiot! Get off of her!"

"Alice?" Craig came out from behind the van. He had been watching. "Alice, he doesn't love you anymore…but I love you."

"No you don't! I hate you all! James, once and for all, get away from that slut!" Alice took hold of his collar and dragged him away from Rachael, who did nothing. Craig looked up into the branches of the oak tree and saw the nearly luminous smile of the Tambourine Man. Suddenly, they all felt drowsy, except for Rachael, who (for once in her life) was wide awake. The Tambourine Man hopped out of the tree and put his hand on Rachael's shoulder.

"Now, has your memory returned to you?"

"Yes. Now I realize who I should love. Let me wake them all up."

"Good job, somnambulist. Now, after you wake them up, could you do one last little favor for me?" The Tambourine Man explained his favor and left, quietly beating his tambourine.

Rachael first touched Craig's eyes, and woke him up. He promptly fell in love with her, and she with him. Together, they carried Alice and James into their van; Rachael touched their eyelids. Craig and Rachael walked off hand in hand.

Dr. Caligari was asleep on the divan in her tent. She was called to consciousness with the sounds of unearthly, beautiful music. The gravelly voice that could've belonged to God himself called out to her: _"Hey Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me…I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to…"_

She opened her eyes, blinked, and asked, "What angelic music pulls me from my sleep?"

"Tis I," answered the Tambourine Man with a bow.

"My love," said Dr. Titania Caligari, running over to him.

The next morning, James and Alice woke up in the back of the van. "Hey baby?" asked Alice.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"I had the weirdest dreams last night. A somnambulist. You not loving me. Craig, that guy I hooked up with two months ago…"

"Wow. What a trip. Let's go home, baby."

"Yeah."


End file.
